I’m gonna let it shine!
For a while there, I have to say that this vampire infestation had me stumped. When they first showed up at my high school, they seemed like your everyday cool outsiders. Nothing to worry about, right? Well, pretty soon they had a whole cool clique of bloodsuckers going, and I guess the chicks really dig that sort of thing, because before long they were getting pretty much all of the decent-looking girls in my class. Now, I have nothing against the undead or anything, but my teenage years constitute a period in my life I can never get back. I’m not about to take my cousin to the prom because my crush is infatuated with the idea of living forever. Something had to be done about these jerks.
Now, if you catch a vampire by himself, it’s not such a difficult trick to stuff a clove of garlic in his pocket and give him a wedgie or something. It’s when they’re hanging out in a pack that they’re the most dangerous. That’s why I shopped online and found a great deal on my RoadPro 2 Million Candle Power Cordless/Rechargeable Spotlight. This oversized rechargeable spotlight packs the lighting power of a couple million candles, making it the next best thing to sunlight. A couple of buddies and I hauled this bad boy out to the vampires’ little tree fort in the woods and went to town on those wimps. They tried to get all tough and show us their fangs and all that, but they didn’t count on our portable sun.
Did their skin sparkle? No, I guess it was more of a “sizzling flesh” type of effect. Let’s just say they’ll probably skip school on yearbook picture day. In fact, one bloodsucker already transferred to some school across town. Hey, as long as they stay away from our pep rallies, they’re free to carry out their adolescent power struggles without getting fried by cordless spotlights. It’s just that I’ve been working up the nerve to ask Chloe Zimmerman out for six years now, and I’m not going to lose her to some 500-year-old lecher. You know?
Now, the werewolves, we’re still working on. You wouldn’t happen to know where I could buy a silver dog whistle, would you?
RoadPro 2 Million Candle Power Cordless/Rechargeable Spotlight
Condition: New
Package: Retail
Manufacturer: RoadPro
Item: RPAT-736C
Max Order Qty: 5
Features:
• Powerful 2 Million Candle Power Spotlight
• AC and DC Rechargeable
• Includes DC Car Adapter and AC Wall Adapter
• Small Bright Handy Path Light
• Swivel Locking Handle Moves to a Pistol-Grip Position
• Sure-Set On/Off Switch for Hands-Free Operation
• Sturdy Multi-Position ABS Stand