By purchasing today’s deal of the day, you will have effectively ended the concept of the office as we know it.  Our Internet connections are wireless, our portable computers are wireless, our phones are wireless, and now our printers are at long last mobile and wireless.  You had a nice run, office, but it’s over now.  Please proceed to the scrap heap alongside your fellow outdated and useless rooms:  servant’s quarters, outhouse, and powder room.  Now that all of our business equipment is fully portable, we can work wherever we choose, and frankly, as a place of business, you compare rather poorly to the wide open green spaces of a public park.

Maybe I’m being too harsh on the old office.  After all, it did provide us with many generations of loyal service, cutting us off from coworkers, family, and other life-affirming outside influences.  I confess that I will miss the chairs on wheels.  In nearly any indoor space imaginable, one is likely to find places to sit; only the office dared to offer seating options that spin and roll.  Exactly why may forever remain a mystery.  Fare thee well, office.  We have better places to be, and now that we can print documents anywhere, that’s exactly where we plan to go.