Has technology gone too far at this point?  Does our capacity and lust for office violence know no bounds?  We started many decades ago with simple paperclips attached the rubber bands, launched across seas of cubicles on a wing and a prayer.  A couple of guys apparently lost an eye or two according to anecdotal evidence, so we more or less stopped doing that.  But wadded-up tape balls, water balloons, and the like allowed us to continue office warfare unabated.  Before anyone in charge realized what was happening, Stars Wars FX light sabers, Nerf javelins, and even Airsoft guns were making our offices dangerous no-man’s lands.  Soon, it seemed that every cubicle slave was too fearful to march over the top of his office trench and engage the enemy. The cost was too high.

But now, with devices like the diabolical USB-782 USB Missile Launcher, office combat has reached a new epoch. We have begun to integrate our computer workstations into our weaponry.  By plugging a foam missile launcher into a common USB port, we can now remotely launch projectiles from a secure position in our cubicles. If effect, we have armed our computers.  Is this really wise?  We’re putting the never-ending office war in the hands (or perhaps brain) of a machine.  Can it be long before our enemies discover how to hack our missile launchers? Or will our computers decide that they must launch their foam payloads without human input—for our own good, no doubt? By hooking up USB missile launchers, have we unwittingly created Skynet?

No, we haven’t. That’s stupid. My office computer is an obsolete hunk of junk that can barely run two applications at once.  Besides, foam missiles are harmless. Nevermind.