Ah, free stuff.  It's what made the Internet great!  Today, we here at Buyers HQ are only too happy to help carry on a fine tradition of giving stuff away for free online.  Think of it as a thank-you for coming back to our site every day to check out the last hot deal each morning.  We appreciate it, and we hope you'll appreciate today's free item:  The Automotive Jelly Sticky Pad!  I don't know what kind of black magic these funny little pads have been imbued with, but it really shouldn't be this easy (or this FREE) to keep my BlackBerry securely on my dashboard.  Especially when the pad isn't even sticky!

But guess what?  The free stuff doesn't end there today!  We're also running a special promotion on our Facebook page.  Anybody who orders a free sticky pad today and also signs up to become a fan of the Buyers HQ Facebook page will receive a free JD-100 Bluetooth earpiece with their order!  With your free jelly pad and your free Bluetooth headset, you'll be ready to legally talk and cruise hands-free for only the price of shipping and handling.  It's an unbeatable deal, so head on over to our Facebook page to take advantage.  Once these free jelly pads are gone, so is your chance to score a free Bluetooth earpiece!

In case you were wondering, the absolute worst car in the world for cross-country car trips is the 1997 Dodge Neon.  I can say this with absolute certainty because I tested the theory out about nine years ago.  Driving from Texas to California in that undersized bucket was one of the most unpleasant experiences in my life, and to this day, I still have a serious aversion to road trips. 

What made the ride so memorably awful?  Well, the driver’s seat in the old Dodge Neon was a pretty no-frills affair.  Not a lot of spring action and not a lot of padding.  By hour 14 or so on the road, my butt was so numb that I’m pretty sure it turned blue.  Pins and needles doesn’t begin to describe what I felt when I tried to get up and head inside a truck stop to use the bathroom.  More like “daggers and ice-picks.” The cassette player was also broken, but that’s another story.

That’s why if I’m ever forced to drive for hours and hours on end again, I’m bringing today’s deal of the day along. The RoadPro 12-Volt Heated & Massaging Seat/Back Cushion’s five powerful motors and ergonomic padding will keep the circulation flowing in my hind quarters no matter how long the cruise control has been set.  Not only that, but its gentle heating element will keep me nice and toasty even as I drive through the desert at 4 a.m. during Winter.      

Only next time, I swear to God I’m renting a Cadillac.

Today’s 12-Volt Wet/Dry Vac with Car Adapter makes a great deal of the day and all, but does it really represent the most advanced car-cleaning technology available to us?  Don’t get me wrong, my car is going to be a lot less filthy once I plug that sucker into the cigarette lighter and go to town with the “crevice tool,” but handy as this vac is, I think humanity could be doing better.  After all, I don’t vacuum my home anymore; friendly disc-shaped robots handle that for me now.  So why haven’t they produced a Roomba for my car?

Now, regular readers of this blog know that I’m no stranger to taking our electrical engineers and, uh, roboticists to task for what I see as a critical failure to transform our world into a reality resembling “The Jetsons.”  But think about it this way:  We have robot vacuums.  We have car vacuums.  Why, then, do we not have robot car vacuums?  Are robots really too stupid to figure out how to use an upholstery brush?  Please!  Let’s give robots a little credit.  They already wash the outside of our cars at every corner gas station.  I think it’s time we turn ‘em loose on the interior, don’t you?

Thanks to today’s daily deal, you can now have the power of 2 million candles in the palm of your hand for the low, low price of only $23.99.  I think we can all agree that that’s way less than what 2 million candles would cost you, so you’re coming out way ahead on this deal.  Plus, where would you even put two million candles?  It’s not as if any fire marshal in the country is going to allow 2 million lit candles inside any building anywhere.  Outdoors, then?  How do you propose to keep them all lit?  Screw the candles.  I’m getting the cordless rechargeable spotlight instead!

I have to say, I’m having a great time thinking of all the fun things I’m going to do with a two-million-candle power spotlight once it finally arrives.  Maybe I’ll build a makeshift stage in the basement, aim the spotlight at it, and pretend I’m Ted Nugent ripping out a solo on tour with Damn Yankees.  Better yet, maybe I’ll just stop paying my light bill and just use the spotlight to light my home after dark!

Heck, maybe I’ll just bring it on by the local candle-maker’s shop just to show off how obsolete he’s become.  Then I’ll hand him a spotlight of his own, all wrapped up in holographic paper because we’re living in the future now.  Sure, he’s a complete stranger and everything, but for $23.99, I can afford to give a few away!