Bright Idea

“You wanted to see me, sir?”

Yes I did, Frank, please have a seat.  I assume you know why I called you in here this morning.  We’ve gotten another complaint, Frank.

“It wasn’t my fault!  You should have seen what they—“

Franks, save it.  Now, when we hired you as the security guard for this shopping center, it was with the explicit understanding that you would never use force on the job.  All conflicts are to be handled by the police, not by you, correct?

“Sir, I think I handled the situation yesterday just fine.  I told those kids there was no skateboarding in the parking lot, and they called me a rent-a-cop and told me I smelled like bacon!  That kind of hostile language is an assault on my authority and on the safety of this shopping center!”

Frank, you don’t have any authority.  At all.  And if you did, it would not include the prerogative to club teenagers with your MagLite.  Now I have to pay some kid’s dental bill because you couldn’t control your temper and used a flashlight as a weapon.  

“It won’t happen again, sir, I promise.”

I know it won’t happen again, Frank, because I’m taking away that huge MagLite I gave you.

“What!  You can’t!  How will I see outside after it gets dark?”

Well, it just so happens that all MagLites are not created equal, Frank.  Instead of that heavy mother you’ve been carrying around, you’re going to be carrying around this:  the Mini MagLite 2 AA Cell Combo Pack with Wrist Strap and Pocket Clip.

“But it’s tiny!”

Tiny and affordable, Frank.  Not only does this small flashlight provide the same reliable incandescent illumination that made its larger cousins so famous, it comes with a set of accessories that include a spare bulb, and anti-roll ring, colored lenses, a replacement lens, a wrist lanyard, and a pocket clip.  You’ll be better equipped than ever before, Frank.  The batteries are even included.  And best of all, this MagLite is too small to be used to batter skateboarders!

“I bet it could if I threw it hard enough!”

Frank, you’re my least favorite son.    

Mini MagLite M-2A01C Combo Pack with Wrist Strap and Pocket Clip
Condition: New
Package: Retail
Manufacturer: MagLite
Model #: M-2A01C
Max Order Qty: 5

Features:

•    Famous MagLite toughness and reliability
•    Includes batteries, spare lens, pocket clip, wrist strap, colored lenses, and anti-roll device
•    Patented candle mode
•    Spare bulb safely secured in tailcap
•    O-ring sealed for water resistance
•    1/2 turn, twist focus, and spot-to-flood features